


Happy Holidays

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-16
Updated: 2002-11-16
Packaged: 2019-05-15 19:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14796815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."





	1. Happy Holidays

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

"Oh my God...Wow... that was just...that was incredible." Josh struggled to catch his breath.

"Happy Chanukah Josh."

He lay back on the pillow, waiting for his heartbeat to return to normal. "I love this holiday. Seriously, I love that it's eight nights."

He could feel the small giggle reverberate against his chest as he pulled his girlfriend closer. She snuggled deeper, her head in the crook of his neck, her blonde hair spread out on the opposite pillow. "Although in Israel I think they celebrate nine nights," he mumbled. The candles from the menorah on the windowsill cast long shadows in his bedroom.

Donna Moss raised her head. "On the contrary, Joshua. In Israel they only celebrate seven days."

"Then we're never moving to Israel," Josh said definitively, brushing a kiss against an alabaster shoulder. 

"So you enjoyed all your gifts?"

"Oh yeah," he grinned. "This was the best Chanukah I can ever remember. Even better than 1969 and that has always been the benchmark."

"What did you get when you were 10?" Donna asked curiously, laying her head back down on Josh's chest.

"An autographed baseball from the World Series winning Mets," he laughed.

"Wow. And this holiday..."

Josh kissed the top of her head and murmured, "has been even better."

Donna reached up and caressed his cheek, then facing him, she softly touched her lips to his. "I'm glad Josh. I wanted to make it special for you...and of course, there were some not-so-hidden benefits for me in the holiday observance," she smiled.

"I thought I'd outgrown celebrating Chanukah," he said pensively. "But you gave me fun presents, made delicious latkes, and then eight nights of..." he leaned in and kissed her again, softly, then pulling her close, kissed her more deeply, their tongues dancing and dueling. At last, needing breath, they pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other.

Donna sighed, then pulled back and started to get up. "I've got to go," she whispered.

"Nooooo. Why?" He pulled her back against him.

"I've got to go back to the office." She pulled from his embrace, rolled off the bed, and reached down to gather her clothes. 

"What do you mean you have to go to the office?" Josh said indignantly. He leaned up on one elbow. "I'm your boss and I assure you whatever it is can wait."

She smiled at him as she slipped on her underwear and slacks. "It can't. Don't you remember, I promised Margaret I'd help her with the leadership breakfast prep...Where'd you fling my bra?"

"You won't need it if you stay."

"But I have to go, Josh. This is an important meeting. You and Leo have been working on it for weeks, and now Margaret needs my help with the briefing books. Since we left the office early..."

"Of course, we left early. It's Chanukah," Josh said quickly.

"I know," Donna laughed, "Margaret asked me when you'd gotten so religious." Still looking around the room, she continued, "Come on, give me a hint. I don't see it," and she ducked down to look under the bed.

"It's hanging from the top of the blinds," he grumbled, getting out of bed, pulling on his boxers, and reaching up for the sought after piece of lingerie."

Handing it to her reluctantly, he watched with a scowl as she slipped it on and then donned her sweater.

Leaning in for a kiss, Donna said, "Happy Chanukah, Josh. I'll see you in the morning."

He grabbed her hand. "Wait, you're not coming back?" he asked incredulously.

"I can't Josh. This stuff with Margaret will probably take until at least 11, if not later. By the time I get home..."

"Why do you have to go home?" he pouted.

"Because I can't wear the same clothes to work tomorrow," she laughed.

"Then start leaving some clothes here," he insisted.

"We'll talk about that at another time," Donna said, slipping on her shoes and picking up her bag.

"But it's the last night of Chanukah," Josh whined.

"We'll have other holidays to celebrate," Donna offered reassuringly.

"What's that holiday in January? Wait, let me find that Jewish calendar my mother sent," and Josh started searching through the top of his cluttered bureau.

Laughing, Donna pointed out, "Joshua, we can celebrate on non-Jewish holidays too."

He stopped pawing through the papers and grinned. "Right, there are 12 days of Christmas. I just love holidays and with you being Christian and me being Jewish, well there's just no end to the holidays we can celebrate...plus all those nonreligious ones like Veteran's Day, President's Day,...and..."

"We don't need a holiday to um...celebrate," Donna pointed out.

"Yeah, we don't" Josh said softly, moving in close for a kiss. 

At last, Donna pulled out of his embrace and said breathlessly, "I hate to do this, but Margaret..."

"I know, I know...I'll walk you to your car...or..." he paused, then said with a grin, "I'll come in with you, then drive you home to get some clothes, and then we'll come back here to celebrate some more." 

Donna threw her arms around him. "You are incorrigible and insatiable and I love that, but... no. Stay home, watch the Thursday night football game on ESPN, and I'll see you in the morning. You need time away from the office, Josh...and that's your assistant talking, not your girlfriend, because if you go in, you'll only make more work for me," she laughed.

He pouted, then said, "OK, I'll watch the football game, but I won't like it," wrapping his arms around her and stealing yet another kiss.

"Thanks," she mumbled. "I'm always impressed with the sacrifices you make for your country."

"Let's go, I'll walk you to your car."

Donna looked over Josh's well-muscled body and asked, "Are you planning to put on any clothes or just give the neighbors a cheap thrill?"

"I like to spread the wealth," he grinned, reaching for a pair of jeans that hung on the back of his door.

"Nope, save it for me," Donna answered with a matching grin.


	2. Happy Holidays 2

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

It was after 7 p.m. when Josh finally got back to The West Wing following a full day of meetings which had started with The Leadership Breakfast and then taken him to the Hill for a round of negotiations on the Administration's tuition plan.

"Hey!" he smiled, pausing at Donna's doorway.

"Hey, yourself," she smiled in return. "How'd it go?"

"I think they're all on board. A couple of minor changes, but they'll start marking up the bill next week."

"Wow. It's really gonna happen. This bill's been on a fast track ever since Indiana." They both grinned as they thought back to their 20-hours in the Midwest and the origin of the bill to make college affordable for all.

"You want to get out of here and start celebrating Quema del Diablo," Josh asked.

"Quema del Diablo?" 

"I'm shocked, Donnatella," he said in mock seriousness. "I celebrate it every year, although maybe with a little more enthusiasm this year since it's your first time."

"And this holiday is...?"

"It's a Guatemalan holiday celebrated on December 7. It's customary to light fire crackers and eat Bunuelos with honey."

"And you're going to have some Bun...Bun...you're going to be serving that tonight?"

"I do have a bottle of honey in my refrigerator that I have some plans for," waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Josh!"

"Come on. I'm starved. Let's pick up some Chinese food..."

"Chinese, not Guatamalan?"

"Rent a couple of tapes," he continued, giving her an impish look which was met by a raised eyebrow in return. "Then we'll stop by *your* place for some clothes, and then head back to my apartment for the celebration."

"Sounds like a plan, Joshua."

"A good plan, Donnatella. Now let's get the hell out of Dodge," he said, grabbing his coat and backpack.

Several hours later, with empty cartons of Chinese food littering the coffee table, Donna curled up in Josh's arms as they watched 'The Sum of All Fears', a compromise video when 'The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood' had been firmly vetoed by the male voter. 

"This is so unrealistic," Josh muttered. "The couch is in the wrong place in The Oval Office."

"I don't think that's supposed to be your main focus. Besides I'm be willing to listen to Morgan Freeman read the Yellow Pages, and Ben Affleck is not bad eye candy...Ouch" Donna rubbed her arm where someone had softly pinched it.

"What?" Josh responded innocently to the glare of the woman in his arms, who slowly settled back down, snuggling once more against his chest.

"My mother called today," Donna began.

"They're still planning to come for the Inauguration, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it. They are taking personal responsibility for President Bartlet's win in Wisconsin, despite their daughter's absentee ballot," Donna laughed, although still chagrined that she had inadvertently voted for Ritchie. "Promise me that ballot reform is at the top of the President's legislative agenda."

"It's there, I promise."

"After I got off the phone with her, I looked over your calendar trying to figure out when I could leave to go home for the holidays. I sort of need to be in Wisconsin on December 21 because my niece Jenny is in the Christmas pageant at church the next morning and I promised I'd be there. I plan on coming back on the 27th."

He hugged her closer. "That's a long time to be away. I don't think we've gone a week apart since I met you five years ago, and now that we're together...wow, that's a long time to go without celebrating a holiday," he grinned. She poked him in the side as she giggled. 

They sat staring at the television, as explosions rocketed across the screen, when Donna suddenly sat up, turned and faced Josh.

"I know. Come with me."

"Where?"

"Come to Wisconsin with me for Christmas. We can celebrate the holiday together...um not exactly *celebrate* because of course we'll be in my parents' house, but at least we'll be together and you can experience the Moss Family Christmas traditions including the Caroline Moss Yule Log and the David Moss World Famous Eggnog," she added enthusiastically, her face beaming.

In her excitement, Donna didn't notice the stiffness in Josh's demeanor, but after a moment, she did realize that he hadn't responded.

"What...what's the matter?"

"I can't...I always work Christmas so Leo can have the day off."

"Of course," Donna said immediately. "I forgot. But wait, you could fly out with me on Saturday, you'll see Jenny in the pageant, you can still have the cake and the eggnog, and come back on Tuesday morning so Leo can have Christmas. I bet he wouldn't mind," her enthusiasm starting to bubble over again.

"No...um...I have meetings on Monday and Tuesday with...with some Hill guys on the tuition legislation...I have to be there."

"We could try and reschedule for later that week."

"No," Josh said quickly. "This is too important and most people are away the week between Christmas and New Year's."

"Ok, then fly out the day after Christmas. That way you can keep your meetings, Leo can have Christmas, and I'll change my reservation so we can leave on...on the 29th . And because you are such a special guy, I promise I won't let my cousin Eunice finish off the Yule Log on Christmas Day," she grinned.

There was silence. Josh looked down at the floor, then back into the now puzzled face of his girlfriend.

"I...um...I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to intrude on your family's holiday."

"Don't be silly. They'd love to have you."

"No, really, " he mumbled. "It would be...um, awkward. I don't do the whole 'meet the parents' thing," and he used his fingers to make quote marks around the last phrase. "No, you go on and I'll be here ready and waiting to celebrate with you when you come back on the 27th. Do you want me to give you your present before you leave or when you come back?" he asked with a smile.

She stared at him and he looked back, puzzled. "What?"

"What do you mean you don't do the 'meet the parents' thing?" mimicking his finger motions.

"I just mean that I make it a practice never to meet my girlfriend's family. It's just weird and awkward...and you know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't. Are you trying to tell me that you never intend to meet my parents?" she asked incredulously.

"Well of course not. They're coming to the Inauguration," he said confidently. He could see her relax and felt like things were back on course. He tugged her back into his arms.

"Ok," she said slowly. "So we'll set up a couple of dinners during the Inauguration festivities."

"I thought you'd bring them by the office," he murmured, pushing her hair aside and starting to nuzzle the spot just under her ear.

She slid out of his reach, turned to face him. "You thought I'd bring them by the office?" her voice going up in pitch. She caught herself, took a deep breath, then added. "They want to meet you, Josh."

"I've met them before," he said with a slight tone of exasperation.

"No you haven't. They've met Josh Lyman, my boss. They've never met, Joshua Lyman, my boyfriend."


	3. Happy Holidays 3

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

"That's ridiculous," he snapped. "I'm the same person."

"Excuse me," Donna's voice became cold. "Did you just call me ridiculous? And did you then suggest that Josh the Boss and Josh the Boyfriend are the same, because I've got to tell you that better not be true."

"Are you suggesting that I'm a different person when I'm your boss than when I'm with you on a date?" He got up and started pacing, feeling a vague caged feeling, his irritation mounting.

"I'm saying how we connect to one another in a personal relationship is clearly different than the professional interaction between a boss and his assistant, and even you would have to agree to that," she insisted, watching him circle the room, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"I don't have to agree to anything and that includes going to God damn freezing Wisconsin," he growled.

"Josh," Donna took a deep breath, looking for some patience. "You don't have to go to Wisconsin for Christmas if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I just thought it would be fun. But surely you'll agree to meet my parents when they come to DC next month. And by meet, I mean have dinner with my parents in a restaurant," she said, trying to catch his eye, offering a smile as a gesture of peace. "My Dad will even pay."

Josh stopped pacing, looked at the expectant face of his girlfriend, and decided to try one more time to explain. "Donna, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I just feel uncomfortable with the idea of meeting your parents. It's nothing personal. I've never met the parents of any of my girlfriends... well maybe Lesley Milstein in sixth grade," he offered, trying to make a small joke and pierce the tension he could feel between them.

She paused, then looked at him and asked, "You never met Mandy's parents?"

"No." Relieved that she finally was getting what he was trying to say.

"And you never met Amy's family?"

"God, no. I never even met her sister and she lives in DC," he added helpfully.

"Well aren't I special?" she snapped, turning on her heel, and reaching for her coat.

"Stop, Donna, you're being unreasonable."

"That's the second time tonight you've accused me of being stupid," Donna warned. 

"I never called you stupid. But you are being deliberately obtuse. I'm sorry, but you're not listening to what I'm trying to say, so I'll be blunt," Josh stormed, his frustration mounting. "We've only been going out for four months. It's too soon to be meeting parents," trying to grab her arm as she struggled into her coat. She pulled out of his reach.

"What exactly do you think will happen if you meet my family? Trust me Josh, my Dad's not going to show up with his shotgun," her voice rising to match his.

"Your father owns a gun?" he asked incredulously.

She glared at him. "What does meeting my parents mean to you?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I just know it's too soon."

She gazed into his face. "Let me ask you something," she said, her tone unexpectedly quiet. "Exactly when do you think it will be the right time to meet my folks."

"I...I don't know. I like what we have now. I guess at some point I'll meet them, but I don't want to feel pressured into it."

"And that's what you think I'm doing? Pressuring you into meeting my family which makes you uncomfortable because you like the way things are between us now and don't want things to change."

"Right."

"Keep it light and casual."

"Yes."

"The sex is good, the banter is fun."

"The sex is very good," Josh amended. "And we definitely know how to bring the banter," he said with a smile.

"And we could do this for years."

"Years and years," he offered reassuringly. 

She stared at Josh as if she didn't recognize him. "Yeah, I think it's time for me to go," Donna said softly, pulling on her coat.

"What?" he yelped. "What is this? Blackmail?"

Donna paused, her hand on the doorknob. Without looking at him, she whispered, "I don't play those kinds of games, Josh. We don't...we don't want the same things. But the good part is that it didn't take me two years to figure it out. I'm smarter this time," and she opened the door.

"Donna..."Josh called to her.

She turned expectantly.

He looked down at the floor, unwilling to meet her gaze. Finally he said in a voice she could barely hear, "Will you be at work tomorrow?" 

"Yes," and walked out.


	4. Happy Holidays 4

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

Josh wandered into the office the next morning after a mostly sleepless night. On Sundays, he usually didn't come in unless he had scheduled meetings. Since he and Donna had been together, he'd insisted on trying to avoid any appointments on Sundays, but certainly none in the mornings. He'd found better uses for that time. He especially enjoyed that Donna didn't need to make her usual wake-up call to him because for the last four months, she'd been in his bed on Sunday mornings and had her own unique method of getting him awake. 

But earlier in the week, Donna had explained that Senator Stackhouse needed to see him and Sunday morning at 10 was the only available time in the Senator's schedule. Josh had complained bitterly and had only quit whining when Donna had assured him that the rest of his day was free and they could then resume 'regular programming' after his meeting with Stackhouse.

He passed Donna's cubicle and saw her coat and tote bag, indicating that she had arrived. He felt uneasy and then irritated that he felt on the defensive, a position Josh Lyman never wanted to be in. As he looked up he saw her walking down the hall, holding a sheaf of papers.

"Morning," he murmured, taking the morning wire reports from her hand.

"Good morning," she answered quietly.

He tried to get a good look at her face. He thought she looked tired. He could see the circles under her eyes, and thought her eyes looked puffy. 

"The Senator's office called. He's on his way," she said calmly, way too calmly as far as Josh was concerned.

"Can we talk a minute?" Josh asked, nodding toward his office.

Once inside, he motioned for her to close the door. "Donna," he began.

"Josh, we can't talk about this here," Donna interrupted.

"Well I would have talked about it in my apartment last night, but you walked out," Josh snapped.

"I didn't think there was anything more to say," Donna said softly, staring down at the floor.

"Glad you got to make that decision for me too," he said bitterly.

"Not here, not now, Josh. We promised Leo that we would be professionals no matter what was happening in our personal lives," Donna whispered.

Just then the phone rang and Donna reached for it.

"I'll be right out to get him," Donna told the operator. "The Senator is here." 

She started to leave, then turned back, "I'm sorry Josh. I know we need to talk about how to handle working together now. After your meeting, maybe we could go somewhere and talk."

"What's the problem? You want professional? Watch me. We're just back to boss and assistant," Josh said coldly.

"Ok," she said softly. "I'll get Senator Stackhouse."

The meeting ran a little over an hour and Howard Stackhouse was somewhat confused by the Deputy Chief of Staff's lack of concentration. Twice the Senator had to remind Josh about the administration's agreement on provisions on the healthcare bill currently in committee. Finally, Stackhouse rose, offered the younger man his hand, and asked, "So Donna will send over these changes?"

Josh looked blankly for a moment, then said haltingly, "Donna...uh, yes, she'll incorporate the changes and send them to your office first thing tomorrow morning." 

"There's no rush. I'm leaving town this afternoon and the committee won't meet again until the end of next week.. Will you be in town for the holidays?" Stackhouse asked.

"Absolutely," Josh said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh, I thought you would take a break. It's been a long year, with the election and everything."

"No, Sir. I'll be here," and he shook the Senator's hand. 

"Donna?" he called from his doorway. She looked up from her desk. "Will you walk out with the Senator. I need to see Leo for a minute about these changes." Donna nodded and escorted the elderly statesman to the lobby.

When Josh got back, he stopped at Donna's doorway. "I have notes from my meeting with Stackhouse and need you to messenger the revised bill to his office in the morning," he said stiffly.

"Not a problem. Let me have them and I'll work on it this afternoon."

"Fine," he muttered. He walked into his office, picked up the legal pad with his notes, and handed it to her. "I'm going home. Can you bring the finished report by my apartment later?"

She stared at him, a wordless question hovering in the air.

"Never mind," he said quickly. "I'll come back in."

"It's fine, Josh," she answered quietly. "I'll finish this up and bring it to you later."

She returned to her desk and he hoisted his backpack on his shoulder and walked out.

It was almost four o'clock before Donna had finished all the changes in the healthcare bill and stood outside Josh's apartment. She rang the bell, even though she had routinely let herself in with the key she'd had for the last five years.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," she answered softly, and pushed open the door when the release buzzer sounded.

The door to his apartment was open when she got up to the second landing. She walked in and found Josh on the couch, watching a football game. He muted the sound when she came in. She handed him the document and took a seat on the far end of the couch, shrugging off her coat.

"If you'll read it over and mark any changes, I'll take it back to the office, make the revisions and then messenger it over to the Hill."

"Thanks for bringing it by...would you like something to drink or eat?" Josh asked hesitantly, reading over the pages.

"No thanks." 

After about 20 minutes, he'd finished the document and found nothing to change.

"It looks great...I'm....I'm sorry that you had to work on Sunday afternoon," he admitted, handing the pages back to her.

She glanced down at the document and then finally looked into Josh's eyes. "I know this is incredibly awkward. Leo was right when he questioned us if we could handle a breakup and still work together. I know...I know we can't."

Josh gasped, but Donna plowed on quickly. "The Inauguration is 6 weeks away. I'm so involved in the planning that it would be very difficult if we made a change now. If you don't mind, I'd like to stay on until after the Inauguration. Then I'll find another job in The West Wing or maybe on the Hill. Do you think we can do it?"

He saw the pool of tears in her eyes, but resisted the impulse to grab her and hold her close. She in turn saw the mask that he assumed each time he was hurt.

"If that's what you want," he said stiffly. "I won't be cornered into... just because you're threatening to leave me."

Donna frantically brushed away the tears that were spilling over her cheeks. "Josh, you know me. I'm not trying to push you into anything. And I'm not threatening you. I just don't think I can handle working with you...not after being with you. It's just too hard. It hurts too much."

"Then if it hurts so damn much, why are you doing it," he yelled, standing up and moving to the window, turning his back on her.

She got up and went over to him. "Because I realized last night that we wanted different things from this relationship. And I don't want to lose myself again."

"I'm not Freeride," he barked.

"I know you're not," she said soothingly. 

"I'm not making any huge pronouncements of love or grand proposals because you hear your biological clock ticking."

He heard her sharp intake of breath and fought the urge to grab her and apologize.

"I didn't expect that Josh. That wasn't what this was about," and he could hear the shakiness of her voice and regretted his words, but felt powerless over his swirling emotions.

"You don't want things to change. I've never been happier than when things changed and we took a chance last August. And...and you're right. I do want more from this relationship. I did have hopes..."

"I never promised..." he interjected angrily.

She touched his arm. "You're right. You didn't. And if I learned anything from my past, it was that you can't change someone. I don't want you to do something because you felt pressured into it. I know you're hurt and confused, but I'm being selfish, Josh. I just...I just know it will be harder and harder for me to walk away. So as my friend, and I hope you're still that, let me end it now." He could hear her sobs, and saw her reflection in the window as she walked back to the couch and put on her coat.

"I'll see you at work, tomorrow," she said as she closed the door.

He just leaned against the window, waiting to see her walk down the front stoop. He followed her path down the street, murmuring, "Don't leave Donna. Please don't go."


	5. Happy Holidays 5

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

The West Wing was quiet, but that was to be expected. Even though it was only 2:00 in the afternoon, it was Christmas Eve and only a skeleton staff remained in the offices. CJ had gone to Ohio on Monday night for a week to visit her father; Sam was in California campaigning; and Toby had come in briefly and then left for the day, a scheduled obstetrical appointment for Andi the highlight of the afternoon. The First Family had flown to New Hampshire over the weekend and were not due back until after the New Year.

Josh wandered slowly through the halls to Leo's office. His mood was in stark contrast to the bright Christmas decorations that adorned the walls and desks of the bullpen. He'd expressed irritation to Senior Staff about the mistletoe that hung in the doorways to several offices. The quiet hush of the area, so different than the normally hectic pace of The West Wing, reflected the loneliness that seemed to surround the Deputy Chief of Staff.

Margaret had taken several days off to visit her family, so Josh walked directly up to Chief of Staff's door and knocked.

"Come in."

Josh entered the office to find Leo fumbling with some ribbon.

"Put your finger here," Leo nodded with his head to indicate where he needed help.

Josh quickly obliged, smiling as his mentor tied a bow with the red ribbon surrounding the gaily wrapped package.

"For Jordan?" Josh asked.

Leo nodded. "Margaret usually handles the presents for my family, but I thought I should..." he trailed off.

"Yeah, you should," Josh agreed, then shyly handed Leo a package that was awkwardly wrapped.

"Merry Christmas Leo."

"Thanks. Can I open it now or...?

"No, go ahead," and Leo ripped into it like a six-year-old on Christmas morning.

"Hey, how'd you know...?" as he stared excitedly at Nigella Lawson's new book, 'How to Eat: The Pleasures and Principles of Good Food'.

There was a moment's pause, and Josh said softly, "Actually Donna suggested it a couple of months ago when she saw it listed on Amazon's British site."

"You want to tell me about it?" Leo asked. 

Josh had finally admitted the previous week, after several days of increasingly snappish behavior, that he and Donna had split, but had refused to say anything more. Donna had also declined to discuss it, even after Leo had pushed Margaret to find out the details. Josh had insisted that it wouldn't affect their working relationship, and based on Donna's efforts, it appeared to be true. The two had been achingly polite with each other until Donna had left for Wisconsin the previous Friday. 

"Nothing much to tell," Josh answered, in the same flat tone of voice he had been using for days.

"Josh. I've always made it a point to stay out of your personal life, but this is Donna. This is the best thing that's ever come along in your life. What the hell are you doing?" he finished in exasperation.

"Hey, this isn't my idea," Josh snapped, frustration evident in his face.

"Why would she break up with you, Josh? What did you do?"

"Why are you so sure that it was something I did?" Josh said, the childish tone in his voice not lost on either man.

Leo just stared and waited.

"I honestly don't know how it escalated," Josh whispered. "She asked me to come with her to Wisconsin. She only asked because I'd been complaining about how long she'd be gone and how much I was going to miss her. At first, I just said I couldn't go because it was Christmas and I had to cover for you."

"Hey, that's not fair. You know we could have worked it out," Leo argued.

Josh sighed. "I know. It just freaked me out. I started to feel trapped and pressured. She suggested I come after Christmas and I finally blurted out that I didn't want to meet her parents."

"Ever?" Leo asked incredulously.

"By the time I got done with it, yeah," Josh glumly admitted. "And I managed to accuse her of trying to blackmail me into a deeper relationship."

"Josh, how could you?" Leo said softly, his sadness and concern for this young man clearly evident in his face.

"I don't know Leo how I could have screwed up so badly. I didn't want to tell you...I kept thinking if I didn't say anything then maybe it wouldn't happen...but after the Inauguration, Donna plans to leave."

"Damn."

"I don't blame her."

"No, of course not. It makes sense. You know what surprised me?"

Josh looked at Leo expectantly.

"When you first told me last summer that you wanted a personal relationship with Donna, the President and I fought you on it and told you that Donna would have to leave her job as your assistant. But the two of you made the case that you had always been unusually close and were convinced that this wouldn't change anything. So we agreed to a trial period."

Josh nodded remembering the tense conversations that Donna and he had each had separately with Leo and then the President.

"But the two of you have never been as productive or as efficient as you've been since you got together. I was wrong. I admit it. You two could carry it off."

"But now she wants out," Josh said, a slight hitch in his voice. "She says it's too hard. It's really difficult working with her and not being together, but God Leo, it's impossible to think that I won't see her everyday, even if it's just in a work situation."

"Nothing you can do to make it right?"

"It's too late for that," Josh whispered. "There's no do-over for this mess."

"Josh, this is Donna. She's allowed you dozens of do-overs. She hops down in that hole with you every time because she loves you."

Josh stood up. Leo glanced at his deputy's face and could see the struggle to control himself.

"Merry Christmas Leo. Give my best to Jordan," and he left the office.


	6. Happy Holidays 6

**Happy Holidays**

**by:** Evelyn 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: YTEEN**  
**Disclaimers:** Everything belongs to Aaron Sorkin.  
**Summary:** "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do."  
**Notes:** This assumes several things. First, that Josh and Donna have been together since late summer (thanks kt). Second, that Amy is toast (thanks Shelley, Annie, kt, Lesley, Tammy, and Norma for making that crystal clear for months ). And third, that as Josh told us in The Red Mass, "It's good to be trapped in a corner; that's when you act...In my case, it's the only time that I do." So let's just put Josh in a corner and see what happens.  <g>

Thanks to Shelley, for her brilliant editing, for her knowledge of all things Sorkin, and for keeping the faith in Josh and Donna. Thanks too to Rhonda for all her helpful suggestions.

Donna wandered into the pine-panelled den and found her grandmother, 80-year old Mary Elizabeth Moss, seated on the sofa reading Tom Brokaw's new book, 'A Long Way from Home: Growing Up in the American Heartland'. If anyone wanted to know what Donna would look like in 50 years, a glance at her paternal grandmother would give the answer. Elegant, with snow white hair in a small bun at the nape of her neck, and with a smile that could light up a room, Mary Elizabeth was tall, gracious, and smart.

"What are you doing in here, Gran?"

"Hiding out from Eunice," was the quick reply, offered with a smile. "Want to join me?" patting the cushion next to her.

Donna giggled and sat down. "I feel guilty. Eunice has cornered Mom in the kitchen."

"She may be my brother's daughter, but all that woman does is either eat or gossip." 

The older woman took a long look at her granddaughter, who shifted uncomfortably under the watchful gaze. Donna had never been able to fool her grandmother. Often she could use her drama skills to misdirect her parents, but Gran had always been able to see into her soul.

"You've been awfully quiet the last few days," Mary Elizabeth began. "You want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to say," Donna whispered.

"I'm not trying to pry, but it might help if you let me know what happened between you and that nice young man. When I talked to you a few weeks ago I'd never heard you happier."

"We won the election, Gran. Of course, I was happy," Donna offered.

"Donnatella," the older woman said firmly, and her granddaughter brushed her hand against her eyes, trying to keep the tears from overflowing.

"Gran, I don't think I should talk about it. I'm trying to keep from falling apart and upsetting everyone," she whispered.

"I'm not worried about everyone, Pumpkin Patch. I'm only concerned about you," she said, putting a comforting arm around her granddaughter's shoulders.

"I...um...I totally screwed up, Gran," Donna's voice was so soft that her grandmother leaned in close to hear her.

"Can you fix it?" 

"I don't think so. Not this time. I...I pressured him..I didn't even realize it but then he got scared...and said some stuff and I got panicked...and then..." Donna's words jumbled together as the tears flowed down her cheeks. Mary Elizabeth Moss pulled the sobbing young woman into her arms and rubbed her back, offering soothing comfort.

After a few minutes, her grandmother leaned back and said firmly, "Okay, Donnatella, let's see what we can do to sort out this mess."

Donna took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the tissue Gran had produced from her sweater pocket.

"Tell me a little about this young man," Mary Elizabeth said softly. "What do you like about him?"

Donna's eyes brightened. "He's smart and passionate and kind and sweet and generous and loyal. He believes in me and makes me laugh and wants me to be a part of what he's doing and wants to be a part of what I'm doing. I can talk to him for hours and we can be quiet for hours."

"What happens when you're not at work?"

Donna blushed as she thought about what Josh and she did when they were out of the West Wing. Before she could come up with an appropriate answer, her grandmother laughed and said, "Besides that!"

Donna's face became even redder.

"You young folk act like you invented sex," Mary Elizabeth chuckled.

"Gran!" Donna yelped.

"Well really, Donnatella, you're not the only woman who has had great sex, and I presume it is...great sex?"

"Gran, I absolutely can't have this conversation with you," she smiled, then added, "but Lord, yes, it is great sex."

"Just one thing, Donna. By all means have fun, exciting, exuberant sex, but are there also times when you are making love to one another?" her grandmother said seriously.

"Yes," Donna said softly, remembering the times when she and Josh expressed through touch what they hadn't been able to say in words.

"So are you letting your pride stand in the way of being with this fine man...and all that great sex," her grandmother smiled.

"No," Donna whispered. "He doesn't want me, Gran. We haven't really talked in almost two weeks. I guess I was kidding myself when I thought he...when I thought he loved me. He never said the words...so I shouldn't have assumed...but when we were together, it just seemed so clear, and I was so sure that we both felt...," and the tears started to flow again.

"There you are." Donna and her grandmother startled at the voice. Donna frantically brushed away her tears.

"Eunice, does Mom need me in the kitchen?" she asked the plump, dark-haired woman standing in the doorway of the den.

"No. There's a phone call for you. It's your boss. You'd think the man would let you celebrate your holiday without interruption," Eunice prattled on.

Donna reached for the phone on the end table, and heard her grandmother say, "Eunice, we haven't had a chance to talk. Come with me to the living room and let's catch up." The two women left and Mary Elizabeth closed the door behind them.

"Josh?"

"Merry Christmas Donna."

She smiled just to hear his voice.

"Is everything alright? You said not to call..."

"No, no," he interrupted. "I...I just wanted to wish you a happy holiday."

"Thanks," she said softly.

"How...how was the pageant?"

"It was wonderful. Jenny wore the same angel outfit that I did 25 years ago," Donna laughed. "Her wings kept bumping into the other angels, and then the little girls would giggle, and the audience would too. I...I took pictures if you'd like to see."

"I'd like that a lot."

There was an awkward silence and then,

"Donna"

"Josh"

They both started to speak at the same time.

"Donna, listen. I need to tell you something."

"Ok, Josh. But I just wanted you to know..."

"No, Donnatella, you've got to let me speak first."

She took a deep breath, scared of what she might hear. "I'm listening, Josh."

"I figured it out, Donna. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I figured it out...and I hope it's not too late."

"What, Joshua?"

"I want to meet your parents. I want to meet your sister and brother-in-law, your grandmother, your nieces. I even want to meet your cousin Eunice. I want to meet all the people who love Donnatella Moss...just like I do. Because I do. I love you and the only thing I'm afraid is that I'm too late to be telling you. Please, Donna, tell me that I'm not too late," he pleaded.

"Josh," he could hear the hitch in her voice as she tried to speak, could picture the tears running down her face, and he begged, "Don't cry, Donnatella. I'm sorry. I don't want you to cry."

"I'm crying because I'm happy," she managed to get out, and she grinned when she heard his laughter.

"I love you too, Joshua," she whispered. "We'll talk more when I get back. We'll talk and...we'll celebrate," she laughed. "I can't wait to see you."

"Will you save me a piece of your mother's famous Yule log," he asked, and she could envision the twinkle in his eyes.

"Definitely. I'll tackle Eunice if I have to," she giggled.

"And eggnog... can I have some of your Dad's eggnog?"

"You want me to bring you a thermos of my Dad's brew? I guess it will travel," she added uncertainly.

"But aren't you gonna have turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes, and..."

"You want me to bring you a plate of my Mom's Christmas dinner?" she asked incredulously.

"I was hoping there was room at the table for me."

"Josh? Where are you?"

"In a car parked outside your house," he answered softly.

He pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard her phone clatter and bounce to the floor. He could hear Donna shout as she ran through the house. "Mom, set another plate...Josh is here, Josh is here."

He looked up and saw a blonde angel running down the icy front sidewalk, hair blowing in the wind, arms outstretched, and a smile welcoming him home.


End file.
